We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize