wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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