I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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