I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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