we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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