Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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