i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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