so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
