He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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