I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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