Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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