am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
