Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
