two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
