What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
