Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
