i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
