Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
