I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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