sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
how drunk are you?
Several
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
