I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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