Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize