Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
