whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
