I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
