He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
