my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
