Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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