I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
