four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
