no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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