I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
