Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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