What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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