I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
