my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
