Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
