Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
