If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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