Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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