can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
