Sponge bath it is.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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