I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize