I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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