So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Holy shit dude........stairs
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