Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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