I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
