Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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