i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
