I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
