Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
