Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
cat food counts as protein by the way
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
