Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
