Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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