Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
