i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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