i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
