ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
