You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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