call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
